Sunday, April 24, 2016

Editorial Report 13A

Rough Cut:


The Presidential election season is in full swing here in the United States.  An important aspect of America’s democratic society, the results from the elections can influence the entire country for years to come.  Among the frontrunning candidates to the presidential office is one standout:  Donald J. Trump.  Trump is a polarizing figure to many people, and tends to draw a lot of emotionally charged criticism and hatred.  Many consider Trump to be a bigot, a misogynist, and a homophobe, you name it.  This in part due to the treatment Trump gets from the mainstream media, who have seemed to have an agenda against Trump in order to paint him in a negative light thus far in the election season.  However, this paper will dispel the common accusations against Trump and talk about why Trump would make a good president by specifically looking at his stances on illegal immigration.


Revised:


About the author:  Ryan Wolfe is an Asian-American attending the University of Arizona as a member of the Honors College and is majoring in Electrical and Computer Engineering.  Ryan has been involved with politics at the local and state level in Arizona since 2014.

The Presidential election season is in full swing here in the United States.  An important aspect of America’s democratic society, the results from the elections can influence the entire country for years to come.  Among the frontrunning candidates to the presidency is one standout:  Donald J. Trump.  Trump is a polarizing figure to many people, and tends to draw a lot of emotionally charged criticism and hatred.  Many consider Trump to be a bigot, a misogynist, and a homophobe, you name it.  This image is in part due to the treatment Trump gets from the mainstream media, who have seemed to have an agenda against Trump in order to paint him in a negative light thus far in the election season.  However, this paper will dispel the common accusations against Trump’s character and then talk about why Trump would make a good president by specifically looking at his stances on illegal immigration.


Questions

How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

In the main introduction paragraph I slightly edited my thesis so that the focus of my paper is more clear to my audience.  I also added a segment at the beginning of my paper which gives information about myself as the author.  I felt like this established some credibility and give some insight to the reader about who's words they are reading.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

The form changed in that there is an additional blurb at the beginning of my essay.  I feel as though this makes my essay have more character to it as it establishes information about the author and looks like how you would see an essay in an academic journal.

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