Editorial Report Project 3 A

For this editorial report I will be comparing my intro from my rough cut to my edited version.

Rough Cut

It is a leap year, and as such, America is preparing for the 2016 presidential elections.  Presidential elections are an important aspect to America’s democratic society, and the results from them can influence the entire country for years to come.  Among the frontrunning candidates to the presidential office is one standout:  Donald J. Trump.  Trump is a polarizing figure to many people, and tends to draw a lot of emotionally charged criticism and hatred.  Many consider Trump to be a bigot, a misogynist, and a homophobe, you name it.  This in part due to the treatment Trump gets from the mainstream media, who have seemed to have an agenda against Trump in order to paint him in a negative light thus far in the election season.  However, this paper will dispel the common accusations against Trump and talk about why Trump would make a good president by specifically looking at his stances on immigration and national security.

Edited version.

The Presidential election season is upon the United States, an important aspect to America’s democratic society, and the results from them can influence the entire country for years to come.  Among the frontrunning candidates to the presidential office is one standout:  Donald J. Trump.  Trump is a polarizing figure to many people, and tends to draw a lot of emotionally charged criticism and hatred.  Many consider Trump to be a bigot, a misogynist, and a homophobe, you name it.  This in part due to the treatment Trump gets from the mainstream media, who have seemed to have an agenda against Trump in order to paint him in a negative light thus far in the election season.  However, this paper will dispel the common accusations against Trump and talk about why Trump would make a good president by specifically looking at his stances on illegal immigration

Questions

How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

Well this is the intro, and I made changes regarding my attention grabber and thesis.  I feel as though my new intro flows much better, and I ended up cutting out a section of my thesis in order to make my essay more focused.

How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

Because I am doing a college essay, there really weren't any form changes.