Rough Cut
With this paper, I hope that people hold Trump in a better light. Trump is not the second coming of Hitler, racist, misogynist, or a homophobe. He holds strong opinions against illegal immigration which is important to make sure that American citizens are who come first. America shouldn’t have to cater to illegal immigrants in which a noticeable amount are prone to committing crimes. To be a strong nation, there must be borders. Donald Trump is the man to make America safe and prosper.
Edited version.
The goal of this paper was for people to hold Trump in a better light and even consider him as one of the top presidential candidates. Trump is not the second coming of Hitler, racist, misogynist, or a homophobe. He holds strong opinions against illegal immigration which is important to make sure that American citizens are who come first. America shouldn’t have to cater to illegal immigrants in which a noticeable amount are prone to committing crimes. To be a strong nation, there must be borders. Donald Trump is the man to make America safe and "great again."
Questions
How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
For my conclusion I changed the first sentence. I feel as though my new sentence is more professional and I didn't like how I used "I" in my original cut. Furthermore, I changed the end sentence so that it included a variation of Trump's campaign motto "Make America great again."
How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
Because I am doing a college essay, there really weren't any form changes.
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